Something has become painfully clear, watching and listening to my married friends: Mother's Day sucks. It appears that too many men, while they will send their own mothers flowers, a card, and call or even visit....forget completely about the woman they impregnated and that she too is a mother and deserves the same, if not additional, recognition.
My friends all say the same thing: all they want for Mothers Day is to sleep in, not change a diaper, not pick up the house, not have to run to the kids when they cry...not have to lift a finger. They want one day out of the year that they don't have to do anything. But yet year after year, they end up out of bed, taking care of the children, cooking, cleaning and other than a Hallmark card from hubby and a tissue flower plant from daycare, the day is like all others. Mom's just want Mother's Day - OFF.
I give you the example of my friend H. H is a working mom, and while H's husband works just as hard and many long hours, H still comes home and has to care for the kids after a long day, clean up the house, get dinner served and barely has time to even catch 30 minutes of television before she has to get to bed in order to be up and get the kids to daycare and work on time.
H's husband, annouced to her two weeks before mother's day that he was going camping with his buddies that weekend. Husband's argument was that he works hard, never gets to do guy things and just wanted one small weekend with the boys. This argument makes plain and fair sense - except that it was over Mothers day weekend. "I'll be home by 3pm....we can go out to a really nice dinner, " he reasoned. Again, the thought is nice, but it seems he just didn't understand that a nice dinner is not what she wanted. What she wanted was a break. He completely missed the point of Mother's Day.
I've heard similar stories from various friends. Another example? Breakfast in bed made by husband...only to get out of bed and find the kitchen left in massive disarray and disregard. Men, some advice: do not make breakfast in bed unless you intend to clean up afterwards...it completely defeats the good intention.
Yet, again, most men remember their own moms - and feel compelled to make Mom's life a little easier - "Relax mom, it's mother's day!" is the common attitude. Yet their own wives - don't get the break they deserve.
Mothers Day once you are grown and out of the house is a day Mom might get lucky enough to see you - and she looks very forward to spending times with her adult children. But you see, Mom hasn't had to get you up from bed, dressed, cleaned, etc for years - she's already gotten her break. Now she simply looks forward to seeing you. Mother's Day for the young mom, complete with appreciation and a well deserved break, is so much more needed and relevant.....young moms are simply....exhausted.
I am a single working mom of a 5 year old. I don't have anyone to make me breakfast or let me spend the day leisurely in bed or reading a book (my favorite way to relax). But I KNOW there isn't anyone there to appreciate the hard work I do. It's not like I hope for it. It's completely different for my married friends - who live with witnesses to their efforts and childrearing. It's almost more disappointing to know someone is there to actually GIVE you the needed Mother's Day Off....and doesn't do it. Doesn't simply help.
Listen, I am not insinuating Dad's don't work just as hard or don't deserve their time. I have a friend who's husband LEAVES every Father's Day to go fishing with his own dad...leaving the young kids home with his wife. But for him, that is his ideal Father's Day - and perhaps when his kids are old enough to fish, they will go with - but the point is, he gets his day off. Ironically - this same man went camping mother's day weekend with H's husband. Double standard. Why do mom's not get equal treatment?
So guys, I'm just here to ask you politely - please, give your wives a day off next Mother's Day. A true day off. Don't worry about making her breakfast in bed or taking her to dinner or even buying her flowers. Whether she's a stay at home mom or works at an office and picks the kids up every day - let her sleep in....clean up the house....keep the kids away from her until SHE goes to them.....let her truly relax for just one day out of the year. And save your camping trip with the guys for father's day......
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