March 18, 2008
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Kindness VS Caring
Walking to lunch yesterday in the balmy 39 degree Chicago weather, an older woman (and complete stranger) on the street lost her scarf.... a coworker of mine promptly retrieved the scarf, and returned it to the older woman, wrapping it around her shoulders and gave her a huge smile. She was visibly moved, as if this simple gesture was of immeasurable magnitude. I felt as though I had witnessed "a moment".
Many things as of late have me thinking about how we are raised and taught versus what is just innate in our being. My coworker's actions were clearly instinctual - besides just simply being kind (a product of being "raised right") he demonstrated that he cared....he unconsciously went the extra step to make intimate contact with this stranger - by wrapping the scarf around her rather than just handing it to her and giving her a warm smile.
How often are our actions actually a result of caring....actually giving a damn, wanting to leave a warm feeling with someone, taking things a step further than just rote reaction? Sure, many of us are very good at being kind - and sadly, I think many of us are kind in a sort of auto-pilot way.
I am certainly not saying this is a bad thing - there are a lot of people out there who could use a lesson in simple kindness and manners. But it's that seemingly rare extra quality of CARE that has me melancholy today. Even in our everyday relationships, with the people we supposedly love - how often are our actions just being proper, mannered, doing the "right" thing accompanied with taking things a step further because we care....
If I am being confusing at distinguishing these two things, let me try this:
Kindness is intentional. Kindess can be taught and learned. Kindess is more an action than a feeling.
Caring is selfless and innate. It come from within and cannot be learned. Caring is a feeling that results in more affected reaction.
How often do you find yourself truly caring about someone - close or a stranger - even in the smallest instance? Are you sure you aren't confusing caring with simple kindness? Next time you find yourself doing something nice for someone, think about why you are doing it - because you were taught to be kind or because you actually care......
Well taught manners are important. But the real gems are the people who are moved to care.....
Comments (4)
So very true.
We should all be more caring to each other.
great post! Very though provoking. It really moves me to see a caring moment as it happens, as they are unfortunately so very rare among strangers these days.
GOOD post. True...true...true.
The value in kindness and in the hart is very much in the hands of the person.. not all hearts are kind and those that are.. can sometimes be broken and try to hide its kindness in fear of being hurt.
Then their are those that grow into kindness not for being taught it.. but for realising that they are one of many and in hellping another they help them selves..
There's more to be said on that but for now i'll leave it there..
Growth and destruction..
BBY