January 29, 2008

• Wish and blow....

  My workplace is obsessed with birthdays.  Any reason to buy cake or cupcakes has everyone in a frenzy.  Most offices and cubicles look like Mardi Gras threw up on them before the lucky birthday person arrives to work....and finds their desk covered in that annoying "confetti" stuff you find two years later between files or still in your shoe.

  In addition, every month, there is a HUGE list posted on the kitchen/break room door so that the sugar addicted can plot and plan their next 3:00 birthday cake call.

  Today is my birthday.  When you pass 30, birthdays aren't greeted as enthusiastically as they were in years past.  Being reminded you are getting older isn't so fun anymore.  I do however, enjoy the quiet family party at home, a small cake, a couple hugs and maybe a present or two wrapped in the comics section of the newspaper.  That's nice.  Warm and fuzzy.

  This morning, I slightly dreaded coming in, anticipating the 4 pounds of metallic confetti sure to be strewn across my desk.  But hey, bright side is always either cake in the afternoon, or even better...maybe bagels and cream cheese for breakfast, my department's particular favorite means of celebrating birthdays.

  Except there was no confetti.  No office decorations.  No Happy Birthday sign.  Nope.  Apparantly, no one noticed or remembered.  While the good part of this is that I can avoid the inevitible "So how old are you??" questions that come with being handed a piece of cake, at the same time, I admit I feel slighted.  This seems to happen to me more often than the average person.  Once, during a family Christmas present grab bag exchange, I ended up without of gift.  No one of course even noticed that I hadn't gotten a gift because I don't make a fuss over these things, but basically, they forgot to put my name into the grab bag.  And Jollu Uncle Dan just forgot to "take" a name....so no one ever really knew.  Even through a round of "What did YOU get??" no one even asked me to take notice that I hadn't opened anything.  It didn't really matter.  It was my (prior to being ex) husband's family and even though I had been coming to Christmas for over eight years....well....it didn't really matter.  I eventually got good at fading into the wallpaper.   And yeah, for the record....my husband didn't notice either.

  

  Since I'm apparantly on the pity party train, I will also add that as a single mom, there is no one (except me) to teach my 4 year old son about making a birthday card and singing happy birthday to his mom on her birthday.  I'm not good at bringing that kind attention to myself.  I don't like to ask for things or put people out.  Which is why I can't ever be outwardly upset about someone not recognizing my birthday.  But with my son, I guess it's only up to me to teach him about my birthday.  It feels weirdly self centered, but I don't know what else to do - if I just treat it as any other day, then he will grow up never knowing that you should always treat your mom's birthday as special.  Ugh.

  Ironically?  As of Sunday, I had forgotten about my birthday.  Boyfriend called and asked if I wanted to do something special for the night, and I thought "On a Tuesday? Weird.."...until he reminded me that it was my birthday.  So geez, I guess even I forgot it was my birthday.  How can I be disappointed about anything else when even I can't remember my own day.  Go figure.

  Luckily, I have a very special BF who treats me like no one else has, so tonight will be wonderful.  And this morning's pity party will not even be a memory.

  So happy birthday to me, and Oprah, W.C. Fields, Tom Seleck and everybody else born on this lovely day.  And my birthday wish?  That I always look 10 years younger than I really am.....*sigh*

   

  • 10:10 am
  • 3 Comments